When I was in elementary school I had a dog named Raffi, and people were always asking me, “Did you name him after the children’s singer?” I didn’t, though that would have been quite the honor for my furry family member. Raffi Cavoukian, better known as simply Raffi, made his first album in 1976 and it quickly went gold. More albums followed and he became—as described by The Washington Post—“the most popular children’s entertainer in the Western world.” But now Raffi has changed tracks and, as a systems thinker, he has founded a center in British Columbia for advancing what he calls “child honoring.” In a recent conversation with Raffi, we talked about what child honoring means, how to put it into practice, and what has changed about childhood in the past three decades. –Andrea Miller
What qualities do children have that adults should try to cultivate in themselves?
There are many qualities—a playful nature is one. Play is the universal language of childhood and is, I think, an intelligence. Also, children are honest. Their love is pure. They don’t ask anything but that you love them and that you be true to who you are with them. There’s a divine essence to being human, and it’s most visible in the child. They are playful, curious, wondering, purely loving. They have their own sense of the bodhisattva in them.
Your philosophy, child honoring, has what you call three givens.
Yes, child honoring stresses that the early years are the foundational time of life. This is when we form our view of self and our view of the world. So, that’s number one. Number two is that we live at a time with unprecedented global crises—a number of which could bring civilization to its knees—and all these crises in the world affect children the most. Children have the most to gain or the most to lose by the world we make for them. Number three is that the unprecedented scope and scale of the world’s problems needs a remedy of equal scale, so what’s called for is a whole systems shift of our institutional values. That’s why I call child honoring the compassion revolution—it really does involve a revolution in values in every sector.
You wrote a covenant for honoring children.
The inspiration for the covenant came from the Declaration of Independence. I looked at the Declaration to see if there were references to children. Of course, there aren’t any—there aren’t any references to women either. It was written in the 1700’s. So, I thought, what would a similarly spirited emancipatory piece on children have to say and that’s when I started writing the covenant—three paragraphs that are a direct affirmation of the child. Then a year later I wrote the principles. There had to be something to hang your hat on and the nine principles taken together proffer a way of living. The covenant and its principles form the core of the child honoring philosophy.
Can you give us a taste of the covenant?
The first sentence says a lot. It says, “We find these joys to be self-evident: That all children are created whole, endowed with innate intelligence, with dignity and wonder, worthy of respect.” That much gives you a taste of the covenant and that also leads to the first principle, which is respectful love.
Twice you’ve talked with the Dalai Lama and discussed child honoring. What does he think about it?
The Dalai Lama has been very affirming. As an ecology advocate, he understands that how we take care of this planet affects children’s lives directly. He also understands that it’s not just the physical environment that’s important, but the emotional environment of the home as well. All of the environments that we create for children must be imbued with good cultural values.
For years, the Dalai Lama has said that the world needs a universal ethic for the world’s billions, regardless of religion. Child honoring is one clear expression of such an ethic, because the child is the most universal human experience. Everyone was once a child, even if they don’t have any of their own. What better way to express a universal ethic than with the universal aspect of being human?
The Dalai Lama and I are on the same page about, as he calls it, “right from the beginning.” In other words, we believe in imparting good cultural values right from the start, not later on when people are forty and they’re in a workshop. The proactive engagement of the child right from the beginning is the most effective way of growing the very virtues that we wish to see in the world.
What’s one special memory you have of your time with the Dalai Lama?
He was so sweet. When he said that even before birth we should start imparting good values, he pointed to his own abdomen, as though he were a mother. He totally gets the mother-child connection as the most important connection of all.
What made you decide to start singing for kids?
It was my good fortune many years ago to be married to a kindergarten teacher, and during that time I was asked to come into the classroom to sing for children. That led to the making of my first album and then a whole career opened up. I embraced it when I came to understand the importance of music for children,
What are the messages in your songs?
A song called “All I Really Need” is about the basics of life—good food, clean water and air. “One Light, One Sun” talks about the one world that nourishes all of us—the one light warming everyone. There have been many songs that give thanks for the world we have. There is a song called “Thanks A Lot” on the Baby Beluga album, and it’s a song of gratitude. “Baby Beluga” itself, my best-known song, is essentially a love song for a magnificent creature. There have been messages of universal love in many, many songs.
You started singing for children in 1974. How has childhood changed since then?
Children—their basic needs—haven’t changed. The world around them has. We have more telecommunications now, and television, unfortunately, has a bigger presence in children’s lives. Also, in the polluted world that we have created, the body burden of toxic chemicals that is in our blood is quite something. There are trace amounts of toxic chemicals in most people’s blood around the world and this is a new thing. Now we have this untenable situation where every child born is born at risk of exposure to toxic chemicals in their body. This is what we must turn around. If we do, it will benefit all of us.
I understand that you’ve refused all commercial endorsement offers and Troubadour Music, your company, has never directly advertised or marketed to children.
Children deserve the best from us—they deserve the highest consideration as impressionable people.
But corporations exploit children to become lifelong consumers. I’m thinking of the direct advertising to children in Canada and the United States. In Quebec and also the Scandinavian countries, that’s illegal—you’re not allowed to advertise to children twelve and under.
What’s new with the Center for Child Honouring?
One of the programs that the center is running right now is called “The Children and Non-violence Initiative.” On the website, I ask everyone to sign the Plea To Faith Leaders, urging faith leaders to stand for the children of the world—to make a new promise to stop all forms of maltreatment and violence against children. It’s a two-step campaign. First, the general public signs the plea to faith leaders, then faith leaders sign a proclamation saying they hereby make a promise to uphold the sanctity of the child. I think religious and spiritual leaders have a very important role to play in changing adult attitudes regarding children. By upholding the sanctity of the child, religious and spiritual leaders can have a good influence on those who look up to them. If people go to childhonouring.org/plea, they will see the page where the public is asked to sign the plea.
I know child honoring is a big idea, but it’s a very simple idea that, if taken seriously, can change our societal values and reorder our priorities in the direction of a world fit for children, a world in which our spirit can do its best work.
